I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
