His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
