No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
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Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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