Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She bit a glass in half.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
