i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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