So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
