So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
