What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
