you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
