Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize