Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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