I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
he fucked my hip out of place.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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