Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
