There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
