Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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