he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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