this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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