I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
