Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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