O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
