My underwear smells like fireworks.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
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