as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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