i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
