used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
