mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
