Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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