Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
