i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
