At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
