Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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