Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
