He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
