You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
high people should be assigned attendants
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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