what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
