Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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