the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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