I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
