I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.