I'm lost and stupid without you.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day