I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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