he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
