garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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