sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
