fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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