She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
