So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
3 2 1 whiskey
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
