ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
