Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
