Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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