Yo dont text me then not text me
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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