Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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