Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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