i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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