yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You were trust falling into bushes
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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