i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
