Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
