I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
accomplished twins. life is a go
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
