So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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