Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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