I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i used baking grease as lip gloss
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
