Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You need Xanax blowdarts
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
