I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
