**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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